Come what may…

As we continue our journey grief remains with us like a constant toothache, unfortunately life around us continues on an if nothing has disturbed the balance of nature or your little corner of the world.

Once you return to work, school, or just stay at home whatever it is in your life that was your normal routine. You are returning as a different person just maintaining what and where you can to make it thru the day and back to your safe haven of home. Or if you are already at home you are wondering around trying to figure out the next step of how to proceed with what was your normal life.

However, as you are trying to start a new routine, things around you have not changed grass is still growing and needing mowed, weeds are sprouting everywhere if you have flower beds or a garden, dishes and housework still need cleaned, snow needs shoveled and groceries need bought all these things are not waiting on you to figure out your life there in nature’s cycle of events or your old routine you once had now minus one.

The worse part of this is some of these things you have never had to think about or even handle. So where do you start, how do you even know what to do? Some or all of these tasks can be overwhelming if you are not the person who handled these tasks and never wanted to there are some of us who are not mechanically inclined or grocery savvy and could be not even an outdoors type of person.

If you are lucky enough some of these can be done by hired help, there seems to be a company out there for almost everything anymore. Just please please do your research before hiring anyone make sure they are from a reputable company check the better business bureau. Don’t just pick the first one you possibly call or that comes and gives you a quote. Now that you are on your own you have to be careful of anyone that can take advantage of you as you are in a vulnerable state right now.

Unfortunately, not everyone will be in a position to hire help. Just start slow take stock of what are the most immediate needs, groceries, mowing, laundry, house cleaning, even knowing how to pay the bills that keep coming in and possibly setting up your own banking accounts.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help from a family member or trusted friend to help guide you through some of these tasks you may have never done before. Another thing I have found in my dealing with some of these tasks is to check you tube now this may sound silly, but I think there is someone who has made a video on How To’s there, some of these can be helpful some not so much it’s like anything use your common sense.

Let’s look at grocery shopping if this is intimidating to you and if you have a phone with internet and/or a tablet or computer most all stores now have a site where you can go some cost some do not where you put in what you need and someone else does the shopping you pull up at your designated time and they come out and load your car. Now one task out of the way, you just have to be patient while doing it the first time, it will take you awhile to get use to the shopping site. Heck I even found out I can do this with my home improvement store who knew!!

Now if you have not handled the bills or money this can be a bit more complicated, start slow open your mail it is not going to go away by not opening it. What I find helpful is I open it put the due date on the outside of the envelope and put it them in date order. That way I can tell what is do when. I also have a wipe board on my fridge to put the payments that come out automatically and the dates, so I am always aware when money needs to be there for that particular bill. If you still need help with balancing your check book or getting in to see your accounts online, ask for help from a family member you feel comfortable with sharing this type of info with or a trusted friend.

The most challenging things are yet to come as in an appliance breaks down, car troubles, can’t get the mower running just to name a few. This is also where YouTube comes in handy for repairs or How To’s.

If you are a woman, I would suggest getting a small set of hand tools at your disposal nothing huge just some various screw drivers, hammer, if you are adventurous a rechargeable small power driver it can screw things in and unscrew this is good for hard to reach or stuck bolts or screws. If you are into the yard work but can’t handle heavy weed eaters or blowers, look online and purchase the rechargeable most times you and get them together as a bundle, I did that and love them light weight and simple to use always a plus for someone mechanically challenged like myself. Send me a comment or note if you would like the name brands, I have that work very well and are not that expensive.

None of these new tasks you are about to embark on will be easy it can be tiring, frustrating, and a little unnerving anything you do outside your comfort zone will be this way. Just take one day at a time and it will get easier and easier to incorporate these into your life.

Remember we are trying to make it around that mountain not thru it. It takes time and a strength you never knew you had to make these changes and feel comfortable with them. Change is hard and especially when you were not totally recovered. Yes, there will be days when you will want to throw the towel in and kick the mower, scream at the weeds that won’t stop coming back and cry when you get something done and you did it yourself! This is just one more step on our journey of a thousand miles and I know you can do it, just believe in yourself and take the changes that you make into account for how well you are doing.

I know just from my little time on my own I am finding my way on this slippery slope, and I am starting to make decisions I have not had to make by myself and am evolving into a new me along the way. I still have a long way to go but I’m starting to think I can do this; I will survive this and will come out on the other side a changed person. Don’t get me wrong there are still things that unnerve me like going to the home improvement store myself, or trying to add oil to a push mower, but I am trying and that is all one can do.

See you in the next blog.

Take care my friends.