April Showers

There are so many types of grief: Grief for a spouse, a child, a parent, a pet, a friend, family member and the list goes on and on.

This has been a particularly hard couple of months while still navigating my grief for my spouse, I’m 3 years out and still have difficult days but now with the loss of my beloved niece in January, it has really taken me back a few pegs. This new grief is different than for a spouse but no less painful. There are times I just want to sit and cry and other times I am just numb all over again.

I find some of my anxiety and grief comes from trying to help my sister deal with her grief and understand what a process it is going to be all the while trying to make sense of the loss she feels so deeply. I have shared some of my thought process and how to cope but also explained her grief is different than mine. Lossing a child vs losing a spouse is totally different but yet the same. The profound loss you feel in both cases is huge. Of course, while helping her cope and understand it digs open my slowly healed heart anew.

Things I thought I had under control are not so under control it reminds you grief is in charge, and you are just trying to handle it the best you can and when you can.

I know I have always said grief is that mountain you are trying to climb over or walk around sometimes that road is full of potholes and curves. I know my sister will get there it will just take time and letting yourself feel the grief instead of fighting it. There are days I still find that what I feel grief wise is slowly going to the back of my heart and head but then others it is front and center and you either have to face it and deal with it or let it take you under. I have to say the past few months I have let it take me under some days it is hard to fight and keep going. But I know on my good days it is worth taking back control of my grief.

If you are newly grieving, please do what feels right to you and take your time and learn how to handle those hard days they will get better. I did give my sister a journal to write in and explained how I use mine to write events, or feelings, be good or bad feelings. Write a letter to your lost loved one whatever you want to help you come to terms with the loss. I still write in my journal, but it has been less and less.

I’m sorry for another short blog this month but as you know some months are better than others for us.

I would like to leave you with a quote I found and liked it says alot about how we all feel in those first few weeks or months after losing a loved one.

“It Hurts…

It hurts like hell when you know that you need to let go of someone, but you can’t, because you are still waiting on the impossible to happen.”

I wish you all a blessed Easter.